A Different Way to Converse

Today’s readings offer us some very practical advice on how to deal with some very difficult situations and issues:

g the pagan conquerors, who have brutally subjugated his people. And he is trafficking in images of a false God—Caesar by handling coins all day. He would have been as popular as a flag burner at the American Legion convention.

He starts with a little natural curiosity. He just wants to see who this Jesus is…what does he look like.

But Jesus does something very dramatic: He takes a first step. He calls out to this little guy in a tree by name and says: “Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I must stay at your house.”

Jesus does two things here:

1. He takes a first step. He reaches out to Zacchaeus. He doesn’t wait until Zacchaeus repents, wants to meet Jesus…Jesus takes the first step.

2. Jesus begins a relationship. I am going to stay with you—eat and sleep. (Remember: eating for the Jews was a sacred act—it’s a bit like communion.

Pope Francis coined a word in Spanish “Primerear.” Take the initiative, take the first step. Don’t wait for people to come to you—You go out to the edges, you take the first step.

It’s only in relationships that people can grow, change, or develop. We all know this—“Who do you listen to about politics, religion, other things?—Only people you trust.

There’s a saying: Social change happens at the speed of relationship. Relationship happens at the speed of trust.”

Social trust is at a low these days. People are staying within their safe social, political, religious cocoons. We watch the TV news that gives us the news to confirm what we already believe. We don’t have many, if any friends, with different political or religious views. We expect newcomers to town or to the church to be just like us. IT’S NOT WORKING!!!! Our nation and perhaps even the church in the United States are extremely polarized. We will have an election for president exactly one year from today. What kinds of nonsense, anger, bigotry, name-calling, divisiveness will we encounter? We are tearing ourselves apart. We will lose the ability for democracy and self-governance. We will cease to be a church and become political, religious social cliques.

What can we do?

Take the first step. Try to reach out to a person different from yourself. Do an individual meeting. Get to know them.

Try to stand where they stand. See the world from their perspective: their joys, hopes, fears.

We have been trying these cross cultural dinners in very small groups, and they have gone well, but try to do it on your own as well.

Tips for Engaging in Civil Dialogue:

1. Listen first and seek to understand the whole picture.

2. Ask questions for clarification.

3. Use ‘I’ statements—not so much, “you,” or “you people” or “they”; pay attention to body language.

4. Listen to what feelings are present and pay attention to how you respond.

5. Summarize what you’ve heard and ask for feedback.

Whether it is religion or politics or even the weather our conversations can be divisive and\or tense. “How are you thinking of family Thanksgiving dinner?” We are people of faith…with a great political tradition. God has blessed us and expects better of us.

As Pope Francis said a couple years ago in Egypt: “May you be sowers of hope, builders of bridges and agents of dialogue and harmony.”

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